I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
