Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize