i always forget guys have bellybuttons
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
