she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
