her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
