Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
