I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
