If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
