do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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