Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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