dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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