..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
