how can u be prego again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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