i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
