Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
