Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
