I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
