google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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