Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
