then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
