No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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