i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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