Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
