Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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