Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
