It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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