No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
