I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
