She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
