Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He kissed a someone with a penis
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
