so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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