JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
