I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
