at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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