I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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