dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Randomize
