I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
