You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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