Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize