I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
