Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
