i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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