I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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