Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
