spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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