About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
