dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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