you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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