How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My vagina just recognized that song.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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