Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
