i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
