His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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