can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
