if only i could text you this smell
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize