i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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