covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
