so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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