im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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