White coat. Heels.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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