puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
