Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
