Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
