we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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