4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize