I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
