he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The adults are the big ones right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
