All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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