it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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