I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
